i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
