i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
