Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
