I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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