I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
