I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
