do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
