Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize