Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
don't judge my taste in strippers
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
