im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
