Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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