Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
