I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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