Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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