This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Houston, we have a blender
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
