Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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