No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
