im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
