O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
