Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize