he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
