Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
