A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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