Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
