i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
