i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
