The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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