I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize