Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
