i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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