There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
