my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize