she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
