come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
