You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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