Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
