I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
