the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just found a bag of teeth...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
