That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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