In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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