My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
