...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
