There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
