I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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