She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize