There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
