just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
