You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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