i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
