so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
