My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
