please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
