I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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