bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
