it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
