so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
