i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
