ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
