i don't like sucking hair
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
