he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
