Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
