He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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