this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
